LGBTQIA+ Relationships and Domestic Violence

Domestic violence or relationship abuse is a systematic pattern of intentional intimidation that is reinforced by violence or threat of violence for the purpose of gaining or maintaining power and control over one’s partner.

It happens in the LGBTQIA+ community too. Recent studies show that, compared to heterosexuals, LGBTQIA+ members fall victim to domestic violence at an equal or higher rate.

Anyone can be at risk of domestic violence. Regardless of race, class, ethnicity, age, ability, education, politics, religion, or lifestyle.

Domestic violence exists in the LGBTQIA+ community. It is not a problem limited to heterosexual relationships.

Domestic violence does exist among lesbian, gay, bisexual, and trans people and in other sexual minority communities. It is not a problem limited to heterosexual relationships.

LGBTQIA+ relationship abuse or domestic violence can look like what it would look like in any other relationship. Such as physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, isolation, financial abuse, and more. LGBTQIA+ abuse can also include blaming the abuse on the victim's identity, threats to “out” them, denying access to hormones, not allowing the victim to heal from gender-affirming surgery, using LGBTQIA+ stereotypes to intimidate and threaten them, and more.

There are many barriers that can stop LGBTQIA+ victims from seeking help. A victim may fear for their life or safety or that of others, such as their children. They may be ashamed and embarrassed. They may fear being outed. They may fear stereotypes as it may cause a lack of belief due to them. They may even feel a sense of responsibility to hide the abuse in order to protect the image of the LGBTQIA+ community.

If you are an LGBTQ+ person who is a victim of abuse, you have options.

• Tell someone. You might be afraid of what others will think but telling someone is a huge and important first step.
• Find resources. Please see below.

• See the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Trans Domestic Violence: Information and Resources brochure created by the Texas Council on Family Violence.
• The Texas Council on Family Violence also links to resources for Historically and Systemically Oppressed Communities, including survivors in the LGBTQIA+ community.
• L.A. Gay and Lesbian Center
• The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Community Center (New York)
• CenterLink, The Community of LGBTQ+ Centers
• Community United Against Violence (CUAV)
• LGBT National Help Center (888-843-4564)
• National Resource Center on LGBTQ+ Aging
• The Mazzoni Center
• 24-Hour Domestic Violence Hotline (847-221-5680)
• WINGS Counseling and Mentoring line (847-519-7828)
• The Network/La Red (Bilingual/Spanish – 800-832-1901)
• FORGE (trans and gender nonconforming – 414-559-2123)
• GLBT National Youth Talkline (800-246-PRIDE (7743)
• Howard Brown Health Center (Violence Recovery Project – 773-388-8882)
• The Center on Halsted – Anti-Violence Project (773-871-CARE (2273) or AVP@centeronhalsted.org)

If you are a member of the LGBTQ+ community and are a victim of relationship abuse or domestic violence, remember that this is not your fault and that there are many resources available to provide you with the help you deserve.