Skip to main content

Family Violence Safety Planning Checklist

Family or Dating Violence

If you are experiencing domestic violence, whether during COVID-19 or otherwise, here is a checklist you can use to help you plan to stay safer.

This material was created by Family Violence Protection Services and TexasLawHelp, and includes information from Aid to Victims of Domestic Abuse and Texas Legal Services Center Crime Victims

Ask for help.

If it is not safe to use your phone or computer to look for resources, ask a friend or family member to do it for you so they can share it with you in a phone conversation at a safe time.

You can seek help. To find a shelter or other services, you can use TexasLawHelp's Domestic Violence. Free Legal Help for Victims and Survivors page. 

Several Texas-wide free, confidential resources remain open and available to assist victims of domestic violence and sexual assault, such as:

The National Domestic Violence Hotline is one starting point for people experiencing family violence.

Tell a friend or family member that you are being abused. They may be able to check on you or provide other help. Have a secret code word with a friend or family member that will let them know to send help. Household members should know how to call 911. If you have a trusted neighbor, a household member may be able to get help if the abuser becomes violent.

In an emergency, call 911. 

Study your space.

Know the safest place in the home. Avoid places like the kitchen, bathroom, and garage where hard surfaces and objects that can be used as weapons are.

If your abuser may become violent, try to steer the argument to a room with an exit such as the front or back door.

Avoid any rooms with firearms.

Get outdoors, if you can. Staying home together provides more opportunity for conflict and for those disagreements to escalate. Take a walk, if you can, to allow some time for things to de-escalate.

If you have children, bring them outside with you, if you can. 

Gather essentials.

Know where your keys, wallet, purse, and important papers are, and keep them where you can grab them quickly.

Essential documents include social security cards for you and your children, birth certificates for you and your children, driver’s license/identification card, passports for you and your children, work permits, or green card.

If you can do so safely, you may want to take other items: vehicle title, diplomas, professional licenses, photos, and personal belongings.

If you cannot take the originals of the documents without your abuser becoming suspicious, make copies and leave them with a friend or family member.

Ask yourself: What are your essential supplies?

Prepare for a situation where an abuser might hide essential supplies and prohibit you from leaving home to access essential supplies.

If you or your children have prescription drugs, keep an extra monthly dosage with a family or friend.

Pay attention to how much is left of the food and products you use regularly.

Place some cash in a safe place or give it to someone you trust.

Dial 2-1-1 (option 6) for information about community resources on health care, utilities, food, housing, and more. 

Prepare your car and a have place to go.

Keep your gas tank full with your car backed into your parking place in case you have to make a quick escape in your car. If your vehicle has GPS technology, disable it.

Keep spare keys in a safe place. Your abuser may hide or hold your keys. 

If you can make plans to leave your abuser safely for a shelter or to stay with a friend or family member, do so. Remember: Never tell the person hurting you that you plan to leave.

Visit Texas Health and Human Services's Family Violence Program website, which a tool that can help you find family violence shelters. Click on Find a Family Violence Program Center.

You left. What is next?

After leaving an abusive relationship, there are more things you can do to be as safe as you can.

  • Change your passwords to your email, social media, bank accounts, and any other account that your abuser knows or may be able to guess.
  • If you think your abuser may still hurt you or your children, apply for a protective order and file for divorce (if applicable) and custody. To find help with your legal matters, start here: TexasLawHelp's Legal Help Directory.
  • Report any threats or violence to the police. Police reports help you build a record, which you may need in court.
  • Delete anyone on social media who might give your abuser information and change your account setting to private.
  • Tell any relevant companies or agencies (for example, if you get SNAP benefits or social security benefits) that you have moved. Give them a forwarding address. If your abuser might be able to get your address from the agencies, ask if you can provide a known relatives' address instead.

Related Guides

  • I need a protective order.

    Protective Orders

    How to ask the court for protection from someone who has been violent or threatened to be violent.
  • I need a Sexual Assault Protective Order.

    Sexual Assault

    A guide for getting a court order to protect you from someone who sexually assaulted you.
  • Related Articles

    Related Forms

  • Protective Order Kit

    Guided instructions and information on how to obtain a protective order and which court forms to use.
  • Application for Protective Order - Guided Form


    Guided online form to complete an application for a protective order (2020 version).
  • Pro Se Sexual Assault Protective Order Packet


    Guided instructions and forms to obtain a sexual assault protective order.